Fleetwood Mac`s song ‘Little lies’ …bold and cold, popped up in my head the other day. Sometimes we use a little lie to escape a reality or a bad feeling. These kinds of lies are about creating false realities. Often used to make us feel better – or to avoid hurting others, especially our loved ones.
My story goes like this: Do you remember the husband who forgot his wife’s birthday – two years in a row? After a meeting we had together earlier this week, he said «Do you want to join me and a friend for lunch, Hanne?»
“No thanks Helge … But if you could pick me up at the Gallery after your ‘doings’, it would be fine. I need a long walk by the sea.” “OK, see you in an hour …” Kiss, kiss.
It was a beautiful day. Lovely sun, the sky powerful, the winds heavy, the air crisp. I was almost alone out there, just as I like it. Two and a half hours later, my dear husband called … his voice strained: “Hanne, where are you … I’m in the alley in front of the gallery.” “Oh, is that so … I’m also in the alley – doing photos.” I could hear his frustration. He was obviously shamefaced. It took a couple of minutes before I saw our car approaching the alley. He rolled up in front of me, stopped – and got a big hearthug. ‘Got you!’ I whispered in his ear – with a smile.
In order to live our lives truthfully, we must be able to balance truth even in unpleasant situations – including ‘silly’ ones like this.
We value honesty, but still most of us lie for a variety of reasons. In fact, research and experiments have shown that it happens more frequently than we like to admit. Maybe as often as once or twice a day. These ‘little white lies’ are often regarded as being relatively innocuous and a necessary part of many social interactions.
While honesty is the best policy, the need for little lies as protection from a negative outcome, avoid hurting others or to preserve our self-image is something that most of us simply take for granted. But what if our lying is potentially more damaging than the truth in the long run? I belive it often is ….
When we engage in social media, trust is frequently met with overt lying and less than honest presentations. The likes and the comments we give and get, are they for real? Or are comments like “lovely, dear friend” delivered automatically by a service app, the ‘likes’ pre-ordered via another service and our photos, captions and blog-entries never even seen by the person, friend or follower? Are my ‘friends’ for real, are their accounts for real? Are their followers bought or gained the old fashion way – by hard work?
The bottom line is that we all want to be accepted, popular and well-liked. The truth often gets in the way of our desires and wishes. So what would a great punchline to all this be? How about ‘long live the deception’?
No, I do not belive in harsh words like this. I belive in telling my story, stand up for what I belive in, enjoy my small accounts on social media, put real time and real honest energy into my engagements. And I will use every chance I get to tell every girl and boy, woman and man, to stand up for who and what they are: To be as beautiful, interesting, funny, sexy, stupid, irritating, boring, lovely as they are. To live truthfully is to accept!
Breathe, think, enjoy, love. ♥️
“No”, said the priest, “you don’t need to accept everything as true,
you only have to accept it as necessary”.
“Depressing view”, said K. “The lie made into the rule of the world.”
‒ Franz Kafka
If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.”
‒ Marcus Aurelius
“Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.”
‒ Buddha